Today I learned that the girl who most recently broke my heart (for lack of a better way to put it) has just gotten engaged. I don’t know how to describe the feeling when I heard it (a shock to the heart?); it came largely out of the blue. It’s how I used to feel hearing her name at first, or the name of her now-fiancee for a little while. Really the most surprising thing is how long it took, but then again I was shocked to know that any guy had screwed up his chance with her in the first place.
Anyway I was thinking back a little bit. I guess with so many nice things about her, I can’t help but wonder which I’ll realistically find in another girl some day. I won’t even attempt an exhaustive listing, but there were two qualities that really stand out in my mind after all this time.
First, when we’d go anywhere to eat or drink, she’d always ask our server’s name and address them by it. I like to think that I’m nice to those sorts of folks, but she was really good and I think it goes a long way to demonstrating good character overall.
Second, whenever I’d be driving us somewhere that she knew the way, she was really good about directing me; keeping me from missing any turns (or even worrying that I might have done so). It’s something I probably blow out of proportion, but making wrong turns while driving is just one of my pet peeves (I don’t know why). I think most people (myself included usually) are really bad about making a driver feel comfortable in a situation like that, so it always made me feel that she was being especially thoughtful.
As expected and overdue as it was, I had managed to forget about it for a while. Now she’s invading my thoughts a little again, but I think in a lot of ways I’m able to reason the whole thing away better than ever. For a long time I guess I’ve been hung up on the “we could have been great” and ignoring some of the more subtle incompatibilities. I suppose that meeting other interesting girls in the meantime and discovering similar incompatibilities has helped quite a bit.
Anyway, regardless of all that I’m really looking forward to meeting folks in SF :)
